Take responsibility for your own. At the webinar, I will introduce you in detail to what codependency is.

The problem of responsibility

Snezhana Ivanova

Responsibility is an important link in the formation and development of any personality. Responsibility means ...

Responsibility is an important link in the formation and development of any personality. Responsibility is understood as the conscious fulfillment of the requirements that are imposed on a person. The implementation of specific tasks occurs through volitional effort, intentional focus on the result of a particular activity. A responsible person always worries about the consequences of decisions made and is guided in his activities by a rational approach. No matter how external conditions develop, a person who takes full responsibility for what is happening will always act for the benefit of the situation and the people around him, while not forgetting himself.

Responsibility concept

Each of us is familiar with the concept of responsibility from childhood. Parents always strive to teach their child the correct behavior in society, therefore, they try to instill in him the rules of decent behavior from an early age. We live in a society, and whether we like it or not, we have to contact it every day. Other people are not always polite, they do not always understand us. The responsibility that is assigned in this case to each of the participants in the interaction is in its own way individual and specific. For example, if a student at school has not prepared his homework, he should understand that the consequence of his act may be a bad grade. If an adult commits a rash act that is contrary to public morality and his own moral values, he will be responsible both to people and to his own conscience. The concept of responsibility includes the following components.

Personal responsibility

It implies following individual attitudes, the implementation of plans and aspirations. In this case, the personality itself determines what it will be responsible for, what exactly is its task. Personal responsibility can also be expressed in the fact that a person takes on a certain role in society and sets a goal for himself that he is going to achieve in a timely manner. In this case, he is personally responsible for taking actions to improve or develop a specific situation. A person gives his word and remains faithful to him. Otherwise, he may lose his positive reputation.

Collective responsibility

It implies that the individual is included in the social system in advance. He is a link in a huge chain that creates movement towards the chosen goal. Collective responsibility imposes equal rights and obligations on every member of society. A specific person becomes an active mechanism in such a system, although he can lead it in individual cases. Here it is possible to “erase” the boundaries between the individuality of its participants, since the effectiveness of the efforts made for a socially useful cause comes to the fore.

How responsibility is formed

Each person gets into the team early enough. We are taught from childhood that we cannot live outside of society. Sometimes it becomes especially dangerous to have your own opinion if it goes against the principles of public morality and attitudes about what a person should be. A person, getting into society, from the very beginning learns to live by its rules, gradually learning what is good and what is bad. Accordingly, the behavior of the individual changes: he can no longer behave as freely as it was before, but is forced to adapt to the requirements of the collective, to take on the appropriate role. The responsibility in this case is to adequately fit into the society and not lose your individuality.

The problem of responsibility

The problem of responsibility occupies an extremely important position in personality psychology. In terms of importance, it affects the deep aspects of the formation and development of the individual. There are several structural components to this problem.

Why Not Everyone Accepts Responsibility

If we consider under responsibility a conscious desire to fulfill their obligations to society and to oneself, then it turns out that first the individual needs to cultivate a strong will. Only that person can not back down from responsibility who knows and understands its true value. It is much easier to try to avoid imposing all sorts of obligations than to bear the burden of responsibility. This quality of character brings additional concerns and obligations to the individual. However, at the same time, responsibility helps to become a disciplined person, to develop firmness and the right qualities of character.

If the child is still to some extent forgiven for not fulfilling this promise, then the adult will be asked much more severely for his offense, and the consequences of such an error can be more serious. A person who does not want to take responsibility cannot be considered fully mature and independent in society. Such people are more often than others subjected to condemnation from the outside, rejection of actions and actions. In society, there is an unspoken rule that the one who is wrong must certainly come to the realization that he is wrong.

What is the true responsibility of the individual?

Often people confuse responsibility with blind adherence to someone else's will, complete submission to the team and the loss of their opinion. This is an absolute delusion. A responsible person will never commit an act contrary to social norms, but he himself will not be left at the expense. Responsibility presupposes assuming certain obligations with the subsequent preservation of oneself, one's essence in these circumstances. There are such concepts as freedom of choice, responsibility to oneself and other people. The first includes the ability to act according to your internal attitudes and beliefs. The second concept is based on the ability to make decisions that would help develop and improve one's own personality. Finally, the third concept is associated with the ability to make decisions regarding interaction with others, to adjust their actions. True responsibility always requires common sense and the ability to quickly find a way out of difficult situations.

How is responsibility related to freedom?

Many philosophers since ancient times have asked this difficult question. They reflected on what freedom is, can a person be free to the end, or is it just the deepest delusion, an appearance?

Responsibility helps develop discipline. Anyone who is aimed at achieving some result, as a rule, does not give up in the face of difficulties, does not look for easy ways. Freedom in this case acts as a kind of motivating link, an attitude that helps to act according to a given direction. A person takes the necessary steps of his own free will, and realizes the importance and significance of this decision. Even if at the moment he does not want to do something at all, he will take his will into a fist and focus on the task at hand. It is not uncommon for people with a high temperature or feeling unwell to show up at work because they did not have the opportunity to take sick leave. They were aware of a great degree of responsibility to society and sought to be useful. If a person decides to develop his best character traits, talents and abilities, this can also be called freedom and responsibility. Any responsibility presupposes the presence of a conscious desire for any activity, the formation of motivation and an attitude to its implementation.

How to develop responsibility

There is no need to prove why responsibility is so important in life. No specialist can do without responsibility if he considers his activity to be at least somewhat serious and is going to engage in it for a long time. What steps must be taken to cultivate tremendous willpower in oneself, to train the desire to be useful to oneself and to society as a whole? The recommendations below will allow you to form responsibility for a certain time period.

Awareness of the imperative need

Nothing is more stimulating than the realization that no one else will take responsibility for you. You are responsible for your life yourself and you can both waste it in vain and make it as useful as possible in all respects. Things themselves will not be fulfilled if you do not put any effort into it. When a clear understanding comes that we ourselves are responsible for our actions and, in part, for the events that take place, we don’t want to look for someone to blame. A mature person will not shy away from responsibility. Usually, the one who has realized the need for something is already ready to go all the way to victorious achievements. At this stage, the formation of individuality, personality development and self-improvement takes place.

Activity planning

Whatever you do, any activity requires a responsible and disciplined approach. You can't work carelessly just to get rid of an unpleasant duty. Any activity must be carefully planned. If the volume of work is too large, then it is necessary to break it down into smaller components. It is much easier to do voluminous work in parts than in whole. But for this you need to competently approach the planning process.

Try to immediately define clearly the time frame in which you are going to work. If the boundaries are too short, then you will have to work harder every day. It is better that you have two or three additional free days in stock. In case of unforeseen circumstances (and they can happen at the most unexpected moment), you will know that everything is in time. And this is important, believe me, especially when it comes to urgent and serious work.

Never put it off until the last day. Trust me, in three days or even a week you won't be in the mood to complete the project you started. Plus, nervous tension will be added to everything and you will worry that you do not have time. Leaving the most difficult for the last day is like putting yourself in an awkward position, and even making it an intention. Such experiences take a lot of strength and energy from a person, after which it will take time to recover from mental stress. Do everything in advance, and you do not have to worry too much.

Predicting results

Responsibility implies the ability to build a future perspective in activities. A disciplined person, one way or another, foresees certain results of his work. Therefore, it is not very difficult to calculate the volume of activity for each day. The ability to anticipate the final goal helps to prevent possible mistakes that can arise if a person hopes for a favorable case. Predicting the results will help to collect at the moment when fatigue will prevail, release the forces that are in reserve to use them up. Taking responsibility for everything that happens, the person learns to analyze his work and improve.

Stay on target

Sometimes it happens that a certain task causes numerous difficulties. In this case, it is necessary to study all the existing aspects as soon as possible in order to prevent a possible mistake. If you have started an activity with which you have certain obligations, never back down. In the most difficult situations, seek help, but do not shy away from solving the problem. Your further activity depends on which way of behavior you choose. The feeling of victory brings with itself confidence in one's own capabilities.

Thus, responsibility is closely related to the self-awareness of the individual, the ability to overcome difficulties, determination. Reaching certain heights in a particular matter, a person trains the will.

Every person has had to deal with problems and injustice at least once in his life. The world is beautiful, but not always fair: sometimes unpleasant things happen in it at different levels. No one is immune from getting into difficult, difficult situations, the only question is how to cope with them.

Many people tend to look for the root of all problems exclusively in themselves and to justify the harm done to them with some "lessons" that they received along with this evil. This is a useful technique, but not in all cases. Today we will look at the reasons why you should not abuse it.

1. He who seeks will find

The human psyche is infinitely complex. If you look very well, you can find in it the inclinations of anything, even if it has never manifested itself in us before. Due to the developed empathy we can understand the motives of almost any person, but this does not mean that these or those qualities are really inherent in us.

Actively looking for reasons in yourself, you will certainly find them. Instead of taking responsibility for yourself and your actions, you take responsibility for those who hurt you. Taking on yourself two hundred percent of the responsibility for everything that happens, you become both the accuser and the accused, corroding yourself. And if the actions of other people for whom you have taken responsibility are in principle alien to you, and you yourself would never have done this, you are simply digging your own grave, from which it will be very difficult to get out on your own.

2. Justification of evil or victimblaming

The attitude "it is its own fault", so common in our society, will not help, especially in severe cases. For example, for a victim of violence, this statement will only hurt.

If you find yourself in a difficult situation and at the same time faced with misunderstanding and accusations from loved ones, remember: the rapist is to blame for the violence, the thief is to blame for the theft, the deceiver is to blame for the deception, and in no case is it the other way around.

"Because you can't be so beautiful in the world"

It is impossible to live your whole life in eternal distrust, suspicion, suspiciousness, readiness to strike, calculating benefits. But, judging by the malevolent phrases, those who accuse the victim of a crime committed against her or an accident with her adhere to this very lifestyle.

“Have you been raped? And what did you want, coming home so late on foot? " - only to a perverted consciousness this phrase will seem normal. A person has the right to return home at what time he wants, while the other person has no right to rape him. “Have you been attacked by robbers? Serve you right, you shouldn't have waved your expensive phone on the subway ”is another example of perverse logic. The robbers had no right to attack you, even if you were waving money in front of them. Simply because it is your property, not theirs.

Precautions should not be completely ignored, but justifying criminals and accepting evil as the norm is the syndrome of a sick society, and as long as our first response to a crime is to blame the victim, this disease progresses.

3. The law of attraction is too subjective

We really attract a lot to ourselves and get what we are tuned for. Our thoughts are able to control reality. But where do the settings come from? Thinking is laid in early childhood and, in addition to personal qualities, depends on the family, social conditions, and upbringing.

Diseases and troubles occur even with babies, who are unlikely to launch thoughts into space that attract disease. So life cannot be explained solely by the law of attraction.

4. Trouble can happen to anyone

No one is immune from troubles: neither the champions of morality, accusing the victim of carelessness, nor the most enlightened gurus teaching others how to attract good into life. No matter how you take care of yourself, there is no guarantee that trouble will never happen to you. Even the kindest, most altruistic people are faced with manifestations of negativity.

Having worked out your weaknesses, you will be easier to relate to troubles, you may even be able to benefit from them, and you will not slide into depression. But it is impossible to completely eliminate force majeure.

5. Veiled unhealthy selfishness

The more you see in yourself the only reason for everything that happens, the more subjective and inadequate your view of the world becomes. Besides you, there are many people in the world with their aspirations, dreams and desires. Sometimes (and quite often!) Their desires go against yours. Give other people the right to exist, and let them take responsibility for their own actions. Don't be selfish.

6. What doesn't kill us does NOT make us stronger

Being stoic about adversity is a useful quality, but the loss of suffering can be irreparable. Grief and suffering are far from the only way of development, and they do not always develop a personality. What didn't kill you may not have made you stronger at all, but rather crippled and deprived you of the ability to trust people. You are not obliged to rejoice at your failures and experiences with a forced smile; you can allow yourself sincere feelings about what is happening.

If we get stronger in any way due to serious shocks, it is in cynicism. Mental callousness and rejection of feelings is not a sign not of the strength of a person, but of its trauma.

7. Life is not a school

Understanding life as a series of spiritual lessons and exams is just one way to explain what is happening. And in life there is not only theory, but also practice. Perceiving each event as another lesson, you turn yourself into an eternal student who never begins life as such. And it flows here and now, while you pass non-existent exams of a non-existent commission.

I wish you listen to yourself, Your Mitravat

To sign up for a consultation, leave your name and email address in the form in the lower right corner, and click the "Sign up" button.

Is responsibility so terrible?

In order for you to be able to clear your inner negativity and change your life for the better, along with understanding the sequence of changes, you must take full responsibility for all your actions, words, thoughts, emotions, feelings, deeds and decisions.

If you read the book, but do nothing, start looking for those responsible for your problems or excuses for your inaction, then this means that you do not want to take responsibility for everything that is happening to you now and what should happen in your life in the future.

This is a consequence of a misunderstanding of the important role responsibility it plays in your life. Many people are generally deeply mistaken and view responsibility only in terms of taking on heavy burdensome responsibilities.

Yes, you need a certain amount of willpower and discipline, consistency and determination in order to take responsibility for yourself, and indeed, certain responsibilities arise. But nobody says it will be easy. However, do not forget that responsibility must also be considered from the point of view of choosing not only your problems, but also your happiness. By making the right choice, you are choosing not only difficult responsibilities, but also your happiness, joy and love.

In other words, everything in life has to be paid for. If you want to be happy, successful and prosperous surrounded by harmonious relationships, pay for it with your personal time, attention, presence, consistency, determination, perseverance and hard work of your soul.

In addition, the choice is always yours, it belongs to you and it is completely in your power. You can choose not to take responsibility for your life. This is also a choice. But always remember. If you don't control your life, then someone else will control it. And it will not always be a person who loves you. In addition, I will tell you a secret. In fact, being a responsible person means being a free person. Or does freedom scare you too?

Let's see what gives you the full responsibility for everything that happens to you in your life and whether freedom of choice is so terrible.

Responsibility gives you complete freedom in choosing your path in life, goals and aspirations, people and relationships, your actions and deeds, thoughts and words, your own reactions to events and actions of other people.

Responsibility gives you complete control over your life. You become the master of your life in any of its spheres: professional, family, personal, public.

Responsibility gives you the opportunity to build your life in accordance with your inner values \u200b\u200band the voice of your heart.

Responsibility gives you the right to make any decisions regarding your life and be fully responsible for them. Be it business, career, work, family, loved one, friendships and business relationships.

Responsibility gives you the opportunity at any time and in any situation to make a choice towards good.

Responsibility gives you the right to say “yes” or “no” in any situation in your favor, while protecting your interests, aspirations and values \u200b\u200bin life.

Responsibility gives you the opportunity to initially abandon conditions that are unfavorable for you, destroy unequal relationships and any other negativity that does not serve your good in the present tense.

What is the result?

It turns out that responsibility gives you not only responsibilities, but all life privileges and rights and protects you. With responsibility, you can improve your life. You can enrich your inner world and make yourself a happy person. You can surround yourself with your wonderful values \u200b\u200band your good loved ones.

Do you see how powerful responsibility is?

Responsibility is the freedom to choose your life path and achieve any of your goals and aspirations. Don't be afraid to take responsibility for your life. You will feel the lightness and freedom that you have missed so much in life.

If you do not know how to act in a particular situation, if you cannot make the right decision or make a certain choice, then this means only one thing - you are afraid of responsibility or freedom of choice. In this case, it is necessary to look for the internal negative reasons for such fear and always remember that responsibility gives you power over your life, fills you with personal strength and vitality, cleanses you of negative problems, including fear, destroying relationships and problem people ... Responsibility strengthens your faith in yourself and makes you the master of your life.

Sincerely, Irina Olkhovskaya.

Joe Vitale: RESPONSIBILITY for YOUR LIFE!

I am guided in my life and in my relationships with people by the following principles.

1. The Physical Universe is the embodiment of my thoughts.

2. If my thoughts are harmful, they create a harmful physical reality.

3. If my thoughts are perfect, then they create a physical reality that exudes LOVE.

4. I am fully (100%) responsible for the creation of my physical universe.

5. I am fully (100%) responsible for transforming harmful thoughts that create harmful reality.

6. Nothing exists apart from me. Everything exists as thoughts in my mind.

Joe Vitale & Dr. Ihaliakala Hugh Lin "Living Without Limits - A SECRET HAWAI SYSTEM for Health, Wealth, Peace and Happiness"

This fear even has its own name - hypengiophobia. Imagine that you have been confessed to love or offered a promotion. It would seem that these are joyful events. But if the first thought that comes to your mind is to run away, if new responsibilities, moving to a separate apartment or just trusting relationships with other people terrify you, perhaps the diagnosis of "hypengiophobe" is just for you.

Why are we afraid of responsibility

Fear of responsibility is associated with a deep-rooted sense of insecurity about one's own capabilities. The problem is not only the fear of specific commitments. Often a person simply does not consider himself capable of making these commitments to achieve positive results and not fail.

The fear of responsibility grows out of low self-esteem, lack of confidence in one's abilities, doubts about one's capabilities. Which, in turn, may arise due to a lack of experience in decision-making.

Olga Bezborodova, practicing psychologist, systems therapist, specialist of the Center for Consulting and System Solutions

Hypengiophobia is also associated with an inability or unwillingness to act in conditions. Our life is unpredictable, but many are still trying to maintain complete control over what happens to them. Imagine a situation when all this uncertainty falls on such a person and he suddenly realizes that the only way out is to adapt to changing circumstances.

How to get rid of the fear of responsibility

1. Find the root of your fear

Most people assess their fears rather superficially. They notice only the most obvious reasons for them (for example, the same low self-esteem). Instead, look deeper and find out what constitutes the basis of each one you suffer from. Understand how your fear was formed and what triggers it.

As with most other fears, a fear of responsibility can develop as a result of severe psychological trauma. Perhaps once you decided to take a responsible step and this entailed sad consequences. Or, when you were a child, your parents limited your freedom to make decisions and did everything for you, explaining that you were not able to cope on your own.

Here is what Olga Bezborodova says about this: “The reason may be the shortcomings of the upbringing system, the influence of parental prohibitions, which can lead to the formation of an adult already thinking that he is not worthy to make decisions, is not able to take a responsible position, that he will not cope ".

Will knowing the root cause of your fear alone help you deal with it? Hardly. But this is an important and indispensable first step towards freedom from it.

2. Think of times when you took responsibility and it ended well

For example, at work, you agreed to take on additional responsibilities, although you were not confident in your abilities. In the end, you yourself were surprised how well you handled them.

Ask yourself the following questions.

• What made you take responsibility (even though you were scared)?
• What circumstances have influenced you?
• How did you feel when you succeeded in doing what you set out to do?

Think back to times when you've been successful to figure out how to connect with a decisive part of yourself. Start deliberately using this part when the need arises. Over time, it will become easier for you to take responsibility.

3. Make a big decision every day

The only way to get out of your comfort zone is to make regular small outings. Start small. Your first steps should be simple enough not to be overwhelmed by fear, but complex enough to be tempted to avoid making decisions. What it will be - decide for yourself.

Gradually set yourself more challenging tasks. For example, decide to have an unpleasant conversation in which you have to express your point of view or apologize for yours. It will take a little time, and you will not be so scared to cope with difficult life situations. You will be confident in your ability to choose the right course of action.

4. Don't take on too much

Don't try to put the whole world on your shoulders.

Paul McCartney

It may sound counterintuitive, but sometimes the fear of responsibility is associated with over-responsibility. Sometimes we inflate so much the slightest commitments that can fall on our shoulders that they really seem overwhelming. And at the same time, we completely forget about the joy these obligations will bring us.

Yes, if you decide to have a cat, you have to feed it, comb out its fur, clean up after it and sometimes walk around scratched. But you don't have to completely rebuild your life to care for your pet. Very soon you will get used to it, and caring for it will take you very little time. But you will get a wonderful furry friend with whom it will be more fun.

Of course, you should not rush to extremes. Realize that there is responsibility, but do not inflate it to universal proportions. And remember the pros: more often than not.

5. Assume that the problem may be something else.

Sometimes responsibility scares us because it is associated with a certain person. As you analyze your behavior, ask yourself if you are afraid to take on a particular case or if you are repulsed by someone involved in this case.

Very often, when a person is afraid of getting married, having children, or moving in with their significant other, the problem does not necessarily lie in the fear of responsibility. Maybe it's your partner. Every time there are any questions related to this person, you will backtrack. In this case, the problem should be looked for in.

Finally

We all have a fear of responsibility sometimes. This is normal. The main thing is that it does not interfere with you moving forward. Fortunately or unfortunately, all the good things in our life involve taking responsibility. Where there are goodies, there are obligations (not always unpleasant).

Find out the root cause of your fear, remember how you managed to cope with it, and start the war with small battles. Focus on the positives and it will be easier for you to make the right decision.

And if everything suits you, you don't have to work on your fear. But then you wouldn't be reading this article, would you?

Responsibility is formed, educated and instilled in a child as a necessary social skill. The kid is taught to understand and take responsibility for actions, actions and their consequences.

You have to learn to take responsibility for yourself both in childhood and independently in adulthood, since the number of responsibilities in the process of life increases.

Responsibility as a socially conditioned skill is built into the structure of a person's personality and becomes a volitional quality.

A responsible person is a person who exercises external and internal control, with a sense of duty and responsibility.

A person who has learned to take responsibility:

realizes that life, success, self-realization, happiness depend on him;
is ready to fulfill the promises made to himself and to other people, does it diligently;
knows how to make decisions in crisis situations;
knows how to take care of those who need help and support, or are not independent enough;
clearly understands the consequences of decisions. When you take responsibility, interpersonal relationships arise, involving rights and responsibilities, a sense of duty and honor.

Marriage, parenting, guardianship, work, and other spheres of life involve taking on certain obligations.

Limits of personal responsibility

When a person learns to make commitments, he must be clearly aware of the boundaries and norms of what is acceptable.

Lack of responsibility, inability and unwillingness to take and fulfill obligations is irresponsibility. Excess responsibility is overprotective.

Irresponsible people do not take upon themselves obligations, wanting to simplify their lives, but suffer from their helplessness, infantilism, frivolity, frivolity, cowardice.

Over-responsible people suffer from anxiety, fears, irritability, suspiciousness, excessive control.

Overprotection is no less dangerous than irresponsibility. Both the lack and the overabundance of responsibility negatively affect personal life, because of them interpersonal and.

Responsibility in its normal form:

regulates, organizes life,
, gives self-confidence,
inspires respect and self-respect,
carries out internal and external control,
fills life with meaning,
gives a feeling.

Ways of accepting responsibility

Those wishing to learn how to take responsibility are encouraged to act in two directions:

Accept the responsibility provided.
Show initiative and commit yourself.

The first path is passive, the second involves activity, but they both develop skill and ability.

In the case of accepting the provided responsibility, a person needs to force himself to complete the task by an effort of will, to overcome reluctance, laziness, timidity and fears. Don't think of it as a hopeless situation.


A responsible situation affecting a person arises by itself or at the initiative of another person and should be perceived as a necessity.

For example, by systematically performing household chores on time and in the right form, a person will learn to take responsibility for the actions taken. As parents teach young children to put scattered toys, so an adult independently learns to do housework, motivating himself with the need to maintain cleanliness and order.

By independently creating the conditions in which a person takes responsibility, he accelerates. In this case, he gives himself a task, performs and is responsible for the result. He artificially creates, simulates a situation of responsibility and learns to act in it, controls his emotions and desires, and motivates himself.

Situations that develop a sense of responsibility

Extreme situations. These are situations when the life of a person and other people depends on the ability to take responsibility. These are difficult, dangerous situations that require willpower and endurance. If a person experiences himself in such a situation, one must act carefully and wisely.

Example. Sport is a relatively safe way to develop responsibility in an extreme situation.

Situations when it is impossible not to take responsibility. A person has no choice, he cannot refuse for reasons of morality and ethics, a sense of duty, having a desire to help.

Example. A person is trusted to watch someone else's child for a while, while parents are busy with urgent matters, and there is no one to leave the child to.

Situations granting new rights. Since there are no rights without obligations, their acquisition will entail liability.

Example. By purchasing a pet and enjoying the right to play with it and enjoy it, a person takes responsibility for its welfare. Children are given animals in the hope of teaching them to take responsibility for another living creature.

Positive situations. A person easily takes and bears responsibility for what he loves, what is dear and important to him.

Example. When a person loves another, he feels a desire to help him, take care, support - these are manifestations of a sense of responsibility.

An obligatory person loves life, therefore he bears responsibility independently, manages himself, is free to be that and live as he wants.